A Leader in a New Job Finds Old Ways of Communicating Fall Short

On Becoming a Leader is a biweekly advice column in which Allison Fine answers your questions about nonprofit careers and leadership. Have a question? Ask Ms. Fine using this form.

Q: What resources do you recommend for improving one’s communication skills (written and spoken) as a leader? I’m a new leader for a team which has been together for more than three years. I find my previous communication tactics aren’t as effective, which at times causes confusion and loss of direction. –Drew

A: Hi, Drew, congratulations on your new position! It sounds like you have jumped right onto a fast-moving train.

Initially, I was going to answer your question by pointing you to books like Made to Stick and Shut Up and Say Something or blogs like Strategic Communications or Kivi Leroux Miller’s blog.

All of these are great resources. But after communicating with you further by email to learn more about your challenges, I realized the essence of your struggle is more about how to navigate within a new team and culture in which you feel like you are making too many mistakes.

I have a feeling, Drew, that you may have fallen into a bit of leadership quicksand. You are struggling because you feel like other people expect you to know how to do things and not make mistakes, so you double down by trying to do better alone.

Traditionally, asking for clarification and input before a meeting was viewed as weakness. I assure you that it isn’t. It is a sign of strength to recognize that you need input and feedback from team members, regardless of their position within the organization, to shape your work and projects, including meeting agendas. Find a friend, or perhaps someone you think has been critical of you, someone you want in your corner, and simply ask: “I’m thinking of doing or covering this at the meeting. What do you think?”

Leadership means asking other people what they think and actually listening to their responses. Leadership is not assuming that you’re supposed to know what they think or what has happened before.

Henry Timms, executive director of the 92nd St Y, told me that the biggest mistake he made when he began the job was assuming that he was supposed to know the answers to all the questions. The head of human resources finally pulled him aside and told him that his job was to empower his team to answer questions with him, not to do all the of the talking and answering himself. Drew, asking questions is a more powerful leadership skill than answering them.

Even if you began your tenure by sitting down with each of your team members and your supervisor and asking them for input, I would do it again. I would ask each of them how you’re doing, if you are hitting the sweet spot of not being too macro or micro, if you are asking for enough input and advice and what you could be doing better.

Seeking such feedback is a great model to everyone on the team, and your sincere interest in their work and their opinions will enable you to hear things about the work and culture that you couldn’t hear when everything was so new.

It is easy to make assumptions about what other people are thinking and feeling, but the only way to know for certain is to ask them. It is really important to find out whether you are communicating in ways they find helpful. If not, they may need you to do different things or do the same things differently. If you are open to constructive feedback from your team, this is a terrific way to model a style of open, less hierarchical leadership that will serve you and your team well into the future. Team members will feel more invested in the work they are helping to shape, you will be more trusted as a leader (which is great capital to have in the bank when something difficult like budget shortfalls come up) and staff will stay longer.

Good luck, Drew. Just being open to asking for the advice in this column is a good sign that you are ready and able to make some changes!